A La First Date

  Why do we put ourselves through the torture and agony of the first date? Are the stomacahe flips really worth that first kiss at your door step... well dorm door. I seem to think so. It's kind of rare to go on an actual date at this college. Normally, it's just referred to as chilling because no one wants to make the jump. The fear sprouts from commitment issues, phallus indulging, or all of the above. What's the worst that can happen? Sure there are things that can go wrong, but we're human. Let's say you trip and it's pretty mortifying, if your date is worth your time in the first place they won't be repulsed because you're a klutz. They will find you hysterical, laugh at you, and ask if your okay. (I definitely would lol) Making that plunge isn't the worst thing in the world. At worst and best your finalizing what you really want and don't want in someone which is always an experience. So just enjoy it for what its worth, I mean you never know what can happen right? You might meet your best friend in the world. So in honor of first dates everywhere here is a list of the top ten date spots at PSU:

10. Starbucks
9. The movie theatre
8. The Penn Skater
7. Their place/ Your place
6. Chilis
5. The corner room
4. Chipotle
3. Nittany Mall
2. Walk around campus
1. The HUB (Can you say free movie?)

Wherever you choose to go and whatever you choose to do: Enjoy and be safe ;)

Sacrificing Ourselves for What Cause?

  So, when you start talking to someone and things are going pretty good, you trade numbers naturally. Then there's texting and then that conversation is pretty good... until the other person doesn't text you back. What happened? You're left sitting there wondering if they fell off a cliff. Did they? It's possible. There are infinite options as to what could have happened. Following are 10 options as to what could have happened to that other person:

10. They fell off a cliff
9. They were abducted by an alien
8. And possibly probed
7. Got kidnapped
6. Dropped phone in 'disrespected' toilet
5. Got distracted
4. Fell asleep
3. Doesn't know what to say and didn't inform you of such with the courteous 'Lol'
2. Ignored your text
1. Or worst of all doesn't want to talk to you

Looking at the options, you realize the first five options are more likely to have happened and it sucks. There is no excuse for not texting someone back. It's not like when you're on the phone and you get to pick up the other persons tone. With text messaging the fun is within the mystery, but that's also the scary part. What do you do when that happens? How does the other person explain a no response? Are you allowed to bring it up the next time you speak? How do you take preventative measures? You can always follow up if the other person doesn't text you back with in an hour. A simple "?" will do. If they don't respond then you know what happened. Also, if you know the person you text is a crappy texter then don't expect much, occupy yourself with better things, and move on. It's so not worth the stress.

More Or Less...

  So what happens when you are in this great relationship and only you feel that way? I'm sure we've all seen that girl or guy. They are sprung and you can't tell them nothin! They make their lives about their 'spouse', spend all of their time with them, and in some cases eliminate their friends. But I have another question. What happens when they break up three weeks later? Aside from earning a FAIL, they also are left to pick up the pieces. But it's never that simple. Who do they come crawling back to? You got it: the friends that they abandoned for the three week jerk or jerk[ette]. It sucks but it happens and honestly when it does, it's funny. There are always tells. I mean, we're in college. Not many relationships are going be this deep and passionate thing, as great as that would be, but we know what the situation is by now. A lot of people want someone but not a serious thing. Also for when your three week fling ends, who's going to take their place? I think monopolizing would be the right word Lol. When you really take into consideration the type of person your with, you know from the beginning what they want. If they say their in it for sex it's not a joke. You can't change people and why would you want to? If you have to change someone to be with them it's kind of a waste. So whenever you see that person making a mistake be a good friend and warn them that they may be in the midst of a one sided three week fling. Thanks :)

That Four Letter Word

What does it truly mean to love someone? What's the difference between loving and being in love? If love is so important than why is it love and not Love? Why do we need love? Do we need love, honestly? Why do we want something that has the power to hurt us so badly? Is love tangible? Is love only an abstract idea? Is love an abstract idea represented by concrete representations once a year? Who deemed love something that should even exist? Why does it exist? Where did it come from? How do you obtain love? How do you keep love? Is it possible to lose love? If you lose love does it mean that it was never there to begin with? What do we really know about love? Is love a lie? Who is this imposter? Isn’t love technically a crime because someone steals your heart? Do you want love? Do you have love? How do you express your love for someone? Does love change? Can you smell it? Can you feel it? Does it crawl on your skin and bite you? Does falling in love hurt? Does falling in love leave a scar? Is it a big one? Does love give you a warning? Does love write all of its songs? Does love love? Is love biased against those that don’t believe in it? Does love punish those that go searching for it? Is love fun? Is it hard? Is it for me? I have so many questions, but can anyone answer them? Will I find someone who can answer them or am I simply typing for a grade? J

The Land of Far Far Away

  So, I met someone during State Patty's Day. Don't get excited because he doesn't live anywhere near here nor does he attend Penn State. But he's very attractive ;). But the question I pose for you today is one concerning long distance. What are your limits via long distance? Do you have any options. He's, again at a different college, so I'm wondering if we should just be friends I mean it's not like it's love at first sight or anything. I don't know... Let's evaluate!

  When you meet someone, generally, you talk to get to know one another a little farther to know where you want to take the relationship. Actually, you talk so that you know whether or not you actually want a relationship. But anyway, when the distance is a little bit longer I think the rules are slightly different. At this point in our lives not many people want to be tied down to one person, especially males. So in the process of a long distance relationship of any kind it goes without saying that both people involved have to be very dedicated and willing to make it work.  Still, this is long distance we're talking about. In this case, he may transfer to Penn State next semester, but what if the possibility of being geographically closer did not exist? There would be the price of tickets, gas, energy, a lot of skyping or oovoo, and putting yourself out there. Is it possible to get to know someone from thousands of miles away? There's nothing better than face to face contact. Skype and oovoo help a lot, but when building any kind of 'connection' I think that part is essential.
 
  I think I have my answer. It is possible; just not possible for everyone. Me personally, it depends. If I can only see you once or twice a year then I might just have to be your friend. But if we see one another closer to something like once a month or one every couple of months, that can work. Distance makes the heart grow fonder but too much distance makes the heart disappear, that's my little twist on it. But that's just it: my opinion. What do you think?

The 'S' Word

  You knew this topic was coming: Soul mates. Personally I do believe in soul mates. I'm a little fuzzy on love at first sight, but soul mates exist. But here's my twist on the soul mate debacle. I believe that everyone has 1.5 soul mates. There's your one and your half. Your one is 'thee one'. You will be perfectly complacent with this person, but let's say your one and you never meet or it didn't work out and you two never tried again, then what? This is where your half comes in. You will be satisfied with this person, but it's not the same as being with your one. If you ever meet one you will know that there is an undeniable spark and chemistry that cannot be filtered for anyone. This 1.5 theory does not mean that you and one won't break up; it's still up to the both of you to make things work out to its maximum potential. This also isn't to say that your one won't die before you meet or is with their half. Life is crazy and it always will be. Don't expect an easy route because you found your one or half. Also, we are just humans which means there has been and will be error. For example, you think you found your one, but you find out you're in love alone. As horrible as that may sound, it has happened many times. So before you run out and give someone a title make sure it's real. No one can be your one (or half) when the chemistry and spark do not exist or only exist for you. So on that note, happy searching!

When Did That Happen?

 

  So, what happens when you look at your boyfriend, girlfriend, or
whatever the title may be, and realize everything that you were attracted to is
gone? For example, do you remember when you two first started out and you
were flooded with compliments like "You smell great"? I know you
remember that, but a better question is do you remember when the compliments
became sparse and critiques like "You could firm up a bit" started?
If you do then maybe you know exactly when you stopped being attracted to your
beau. As for the rest of us, when did that flare go disappear? Was it somewhere
between the cuddling and too much alone time? It sounds like the problem is the
both of you are not appreciating one another as much as you should be. You two
have become too familiar with one another. The excitement is gone, or so you
think. Try going out together and doing some of the things you two used to do.
Start by going out, after the big step try a spicy new club, the bar you met
at, or something that disappeared with the compliments. If these things aren't
doing the trick, try something you two never did before together. For instance,
sky diving is drastic, by hey it's exciting! If that is too much for you, maybe
you can try a sporting event, bumper cars, or even a trip. There are plenty
things to do, as long as you both want to do them. So, when you look at your
beau and realize the spark is gone, get up and get it back before it's too
late.

Omens...

  Well, the definition of an omen is basically a sign that brings you
to a point. For example, you want to attend college but you can't afford it.
That is until you receive a grant that covers college costs. Reasonably, you
would interpret that as an omen to attend college. Now my omen is very
different. You remember the basketball player I wrote about a couple blogs ago?
This is where you are nodding your head yes or are trying to find the blog, I
understand. But anyway, I got 'sick' at a party I attended and I already
planned to meet up with him afterward. So I met him 'sick'. I fell or lay in
ice, threw up about six times without perfect aim, and said some really funny
things. Throughout all of this, he took care of me. He wiped off my bloody
knee, mopped up the vomit, and never lost patience with me. Honestly, I was
fine until I got to his apartment, I don't know what happened. The night ended
with him letting me sleep over and kissing me on the forehead. Personally, I
would have preferred not to have thrown up in front of him or rather anybody,
but maybe it was an omen. He took perfect care of me and being a freshmen in a
dorm filled with freshmen I think it was an omen. An omen to what exactly is
still blurry.

Greed

  As you can tell, I have not been in many, or any, long term relationships. So when I hear about people on campus or my age rather that have been together for a long time (6 months- a year +) I feel like there is a love story in the making. To that point, it really grinds my gears when I hear about people that cheat or do things behind their partner's back. Instead of cheating just tell the person that you don't feel the same way. Recently a friend of mine fell for this guy. They have gone out almost everday for a month or two. Then all of a sudden he blows her off when she text him. As she got dinner with a former classmate, she was informed that he slept with the other girl. Not only that but the guy, at another point, burst into her friend's apartment and bragged about sleeping with someone. He didn't know that she was there but that didn't make the embaressment disappear. So, today my question to you is: What does anyone get out of cheating? Who does it benefit?

Nostalgic For What?

  I used to ‘talk' to someone on the basketball team here. But lately I've been getting a little nostalgic. Let me fill you in on possibly why that is. As most of us Penn Stater’s remember, the first game of the season was free for freshman. So, with that being said, my roommates and I went to the game to see exactly who we were cheering for. I knew I would see my old bew, but I knew what I was getting myself into. We got there kind of early and watched as the teams warmed up. Not long after I spot him, I realize he looks as if he's also searching for someone. I hoped it was me, but why would I get my hopes up. He's a college star, maybe prodigy, for Pete’s sake! But not soon after I dispose of the thought he turns around and he spots me. I almost brushed it off, but we just stared at one another for the longest five seconds of my life. It scared me because out of an entire stadium of people, I was what he was looking for. After he continued to warm up, the world began spinning again, my roommates and I squealed like college girls sometimes do, and he finally stopped searching and began playing.
  I still can't figure out what the stares were; to him or me. Maybe he remembered the last time we saw one another and he told me "You better come to my games..." It is very possible he thought there was no way I would be there, again I don't know why that is. Although our flame was brief, it got heavy kind of fast. I made it clear to him the little human errors he had didn't matter to me and whatever we talked about and did, he always had my full support. I honestly, don't think he was used to that. I can't be upset, neither am I.
  Still I can't help but feel a little nostalgic and it didn't help going to another game last night. But now it's no big deal. Now it is what it is... Whatever it is. The point I'm trying to make is, everyone at some point, finds someone that will always make them feel a little nostalgic for what happened or what could have happened. The factor in question is: why? Why are we nostalgic over something that didn't work or happened the way we would have preferred? If it ended, there were no discrepancies with moving on, and you know you're better off; then What are we missing?

Starting Over

  This as we know it is the first entry to my new blog Grey. You can refer to me as Ny [if the need arises]. Grey will consist of relationship topics. My goal is for you to learn from my mistakes and for us to conquer new ones together. So, what follows will be my first official blog. :]
  Let's start a little farther back. The last relationship I was in started in May 2010 and ended in July 2010. It obviously went by pretty fast Lol. But in that relationship I realized a lot of things that should never happen. 1. No one and I mean NO ONE should ever put their hands on you to convey a point. 2. You should not have to lose yourself to find someone else. 3.Most importantly, if someone wants you, then they want you in your entirety; no lies included. In a beneficial relationship of any kind you don't put up with the things that I just listed and went through. When the relationship was all said and done, I didn't gain anything (positive) from it. Yeah sure, he gave me his favorite hoodie, but what good is a memento for something you want to forget? 
  After that relationship I've pretty much coasted. I had my flings, but at the end of the day they're not important. I know I want another relationship, but I'm a freshman in college, it can wait. Besides how many males are ready for the same thing? Not many I'm aware. So as the title states I'm starting over. I made my New Years resolution to get more out of my relationships or whatever's so that's exactly what I'm going to do. Right now no one is in the picture because I know what I want and I refuse to settle for less, personally. I'll update you when that changes. But until then I'll be here updating this blog weekly about things that occur about human relations Lol. Bye!