Nostalgic For What?

  I used to ‘talk' to someone on the basketball team here. But lately I've been getting a little nostalgic. Let me fill you in on possibly why that is. As most of us Penn Stater’s remember, the first game of the season was free for freshman. So, with that being said, my roommates and I went to the game to see exactly who we were cheering for. I knew I would see my old bew, but I knew what I was getting myself into. We got there kind of early and watched as the teams warmed up. Not long after I spot him, I realize he looks as if he's also searching for someone. I hoped it was me, but why would I get my hopes up. He's a college star, maybe prodigy, for Pete’s sake! But not soon after I dispose of the thought he turns around and he spots me. I almost brushed it off, but we just stared at one another for the longest five seconds of my life. It scared me because out of an entire stadium of people, I was what he was looking for. After he continued to warm up, the world began spinning again, my roommates and I squealed like college girls sometimes do, and he finally stopped searching and began playing.
  I still can't figure out what the stares were; to him or me. Maybe he remembered the last time we saw one another and he told me "You better come to my games..." It is very possible he thought there was no way I would be there, again I don't know why that is. Although our flame was brief, it got heavy kind of fast. I made it clear to him the little human errors he had didn't matter to me and whatever we talked about and did, he always had my full support. I honestly, don't think he was used to that. I can't be upset, neither am I.
  Still I can't help but feel a little nostalgic and it didn't help going to another game last night. But now it's no big deal. Now it is what it is... Whatever it is. The point I'm trying to make is, everyone at some point, finds someone that will always make them feel a little nostalgic for what happened or what could have happened. The factor in question is: why? Why are we nostalgic over something that didn't work or happened the way we would have preferred? If it ended, there were no discrepancies with moving on, and you know you're better off; then What are we missing?

Starting Over

  This as we know it is the first entry to my new blog Grey. You can refer to me as Ny [if the need arises]. Grey will consist of relationship topics. My goal is for you to learn from my mistakes and for us to conquer new ones together. So, what follows will be my first official blog. :]
  Let's start a little farther back. The last relationship I was in started in May 2010 and ended in July 2010. It obviously went by pretty fast Lol. But in that relationship I realized a lot of things that should never happen. 1. No one and I mean NO ONE should ever put their hands on you to convey a point. 2. You should not have to lose yourself to find someone else. 3.Most importantly, if someone wants you, then they want you in your entirety; no lies included. In a beneficial relationship of any kind you don't put up with the things that I just listed and went through. When the relationship was all said and done, I didn't gain anything (positive) from it. Yeah sure, he gave me his favorite hoodie, but what good is a memento for something you want to forget? 
  After that relationship I've pretty much coasted. I had my flings, but at the end of the day they're not important. I know I want another relationship, but I'm a freshman in college, it can wait. Besides how many males are ready for the same thing? Not many I'm aware. So as the title states I'm starting over. I made my New Years resolution to get more out of my relationships or whatever's so that's exactly what I'm going to do. Right now no one is in the picture because I know what I want and I refuse to settle for less, personally. I'll update you when that changes. But until then I'll be here updating this blog weekly about things that occur about human relations Lol. Bye!